Future Possibilities: Planning of Your New Life

Today I will talk about real positive things. When you know what you want, but I know that is not easy for you to change your attitude because you are afraid of failures and make wrong decisions.

I feel that every day when I apply to a job , because I do not know how to win this game.

Yes, actually life is a game, like a chess or Monopoly and Ludo mixture or what ever you want. And it is not enough to plan what you want, you have to be fight for it and the tools are variable sometimes dirty.

I think of my Life and my Time table because, when I started the primary school I knew that what can I do for get good grades. The schema is simply. be quiet and study until you reach the next level the high school. The tense become bigger because You have to do the same and have to grow up soon and choose profession, what do you want to work. If you are not a social member because you give up your freetime to reach better grades because You think that is count, you  loose the way to make connection to others. I step in this trap. I will never get back my youth to try to make contacts with lot of people and maybe they could help me now to get more chance to get better job.

I was not a snob, just a weird person, a machine without beauty and popularity. But I always trying to help to my classmates, I was a good hearted person. And the target for everybody, who wants to vent a tense. However, this kind of "Stocholm syndrome" was guided to me my first platonic love.

It sounds weird but psichologicaly logical. I fell in love someone, who cares with me it did not matter it was in a cruel way, because I was always being alone. I have a few friends and actually in the class I had only two. This guy was a typical american asshole, like John Bender in the Breakfast club, and made funny things in the class. Bad a realy bad guy, I know that he was handsome for my taste,  smart enough too and wealthy.

And this dog & cat relationship was holden in 5 years. I could not figure out, what was that. I was a shy girl to open my heart for him, only the last letter, which was a poem I tried to explain my feelings. I loved him but he hated me. When he read that, I think maybe regreted his behavior or I would like it. But He wanted to meet with me to talk, but I rejected because I was afraid of get what I want, but for only one night beacuse how can I held him after the High school. I was a virgin. 

And this start of the social relationship is guiding me to other bad choices I did not know how to treat the men. Now I live in normal relationship with my boyfriend, who loves me and respect. So the end is happy.

But the situation still the same in my adults world. At workplace I am a quiet person I hate noise and too much person is frightening me like man collegues assaults. I am afraid of them. I am afraid of bosses behaviors. I always wanted to be a boss in my business because I do not want to be employee to use me. That is why I am not applicate for every jobs I scare. But actually I am brave too, because I want make big changes in life, in other missy peoples life. I want to build a better place in the Earth, fight for human rights and women rights, gender equality, enviroment and so on. And I am not  intrested in the everyday life like working in the factories, offices. Because it is not that time now to give up the change of  possibility. If I changed what I want I could go back to my ambitions and plans to work as what I am because spent to much money and too much time to give up my profession.

When I see this movie the Breakfast club, which is a real iconic movie from the 1980s I feel that the past was the same as nowdays. There are goups with different cultures and lifes but same fears and problems with their parents and school. When Allison said: "When You grow up your heart dies" and this is inevitable I understood that something. Your childhood is over and you have to make your own terms about your life. No one could make the decision, but you do not know it will be working in the future or not and this is scary.

It was funny when the arrogant headmaster said that he is afraid of that theese young people will govern the country when he is retire. Because that is not true. If they got a chance to theese caracters, who have deep feelings for each other at the end,  It would be a happier and balanced country. Because Bender would end of vioalation against child end abuses. Andy would not force the sporting to the children, Claire may be help to care others trough out her career. Allison may be look after children as a social worker because she knows that feeling of lonliness. And Brian maybe the right person to be a real smart president in the country's history.

But now we see that the leaders, which we choose is cul-de-sac.

Arrogant, idiots who do not care with enviroment, climate, humans well being. They are dangerous, educated but stupid, which is a very strange mixture. They spit on us, activist who want to save this planet who care for it.

Our leaders behave like sulky children who want to play a war games.

• Trump want to fight against hurricanes with nuclear bombs and Putyin playing and experiment nuclear weapons like Kim Jon Ugn the north korean dictator.

• Bolsonaro not accept the help from G7 countries to save the Amazonas basin from wild fires.

• Erdogan, Assad, Orban these leaders are populists and threaten the humans life.

"Playing with guns like kids play with toys" as we hear in Stevie Wonder's song.

So that's the matter of the Future traveler is can't concentrate to her life because there is no time for it. Someday when we have found what life's really worth.

I promised to you a positive article. But I think that is much more useful to concentrate about reality. I was not lie to you  about my past was that, I tried to tell more about it, to get to know why I changed my life, it is never too late until you live.

Take a deep breath and jump to change the world.